


Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it hurts like a sword to the soul

by Sephiroth (Ashalya)



Category: Gintama
Genre: Also short, Gen, I AM SORRY, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I apologise, Joui 4, Joui War, Kinda fluff, M/M, This is trash, i dont think its as angsty as the title makes it sound..., kinda angst, probably a 5+1 times trope fic tbh, yorozuya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 08:38:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8198555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashalya/pseuds/Sephiroth
Summary: Gintoki and Zura at the end. And then the beginning.





	

Gintoki is there one day, but not the next. He leaves like Sakamoto, except with no fanfare and less goodbyes. To be honest, there were no goodbyes either, but Zura had known since he woke up to find Gintoki still in bed, staring at him. They don’t speak of it, but get up, and continue to fight and march like any other day. When Zura goes to sleep there is one more empty space in the tent the four of them used to share. The next day, Takasugi takes the beginnings of the Kihetai and leaves Zura to deal with the aftermath.

Even Katsura cannot fight alone.

That is the end of the Joui war.

-

When they meet again, (and they do, as if it is fate) Gintoki looks almost the same. His eyes are less dead or better disguised, and he has two kids in tow. Zura wants to punch him. Or maybe kiss him. He walks away.

-

Sakamoto drinks, flirts, and is generally idiotic. Their goodbye is much the same as last time, except with less people and also less death in the air around them.

-

Takasugi tries to kill them. They vow to kill him instead.

-

The second time Gintoki and Katsura meet again, the two kids are somewhere else, and Zura gets close enough to see that Gintoki is hiding more than he has healed. Zura knows the look in his eyes. It is the one he sees when he looks in the mirror.

The third time they meet Zura realises they have found different ways to live. Zura has found new comrades. Gintoki has found new family. Zura will not admit he is jealous. But he is. _Why them? Why did Gintoki replace us? What do these kids have that we didn’t? Will this ever stop hurting?_

By the 5th meeting, Zura is unable to stay resentful at the kids. They have endeared themselves to him as well. But it does not stop the pain. He cannot blame Gintoki for leaving, just like he cannot blame Sakamoto for wanting something more, or Takasugi for loosing himself to the bloodlust. They survived. He will be content with that. He _will._

Somewhere around the 20th time they meet again, Zura accepts that he never stopped loving Gintoki. (Gintoki accepted something similar a while back.) Neither of them intend to tell the other.

The intervention of several children, a dog, 2 old women, the Shinsengumi, and several near death experiences that should not be possible in times of relative peace convince them otherwise.

-

Zura has lost count by now of the number of meetings this makes. He looks at Gintoki in the same way as the former did that morning all those years ago. This time he will be the one leaving. But not for long. Never for long. They do not have to fight to survive anymore. They do not have to leave to stay sane. The snores of a large dog and a smaller girl in the next room attest to the peace. At some point a teenage boy with glasses will attempt to wake them all up.

The absence of the pain in his chest is bliss.

He has found new family too.

They have found home again.

They will heal.

Together.


End file.
